Why You Should Do the Thing That Scares You If You Want to Be a Confident Speaker

Links: https://www.laurenchapnick.com/

For Weekly Hell Yes Energy updates sent straight to your phone, text the word SPEAK to 833-681-6463.

What if the very thing you’re avoiding is the exact thing that will change your life?

In this solo episode of She’s Got the Mic, host Lauren Chapnick dives into the real, unsexy, wildly powerful truth about growth: discomfort is the doorway to confidence, courage, and your next level.

From going back to nursing school at 40… to stepping on stage terrified… to building a community of women speakers… Lauren shares how repeatedly choosing discomfort rewires your brain, trains your nervous system, and builds unshakable self-trust.

You’ll learn why fear doesn’t mean “don’t do it” and how to tell the difference between fear and intuition, plus how small, everyday moments of discomfort (yes, even talking to strangers at Trader Joe’s) are actually powerful speaking practice.

If you’ve been feeling a whisper to do something bigger, bolder, or braver, this episode is your sign.

In this episode, we cover:

•  Why greatness truly lives on the other side of fear
•  How repeated discomfort builds confidence and emotional resilience
•  The difference between fear and intuition and how to recognize a full-body yes
•  How neuroplasticity helps you rewire your brain for bravery
•  Why speaking, even in everyday conversations, is a skill you can train
•  How vulnerability accelerates connection and opportunity
•  Why new experiences release dopamine and create momentum
•  How Lauren’s She’s Got the Mic Speakers Collective was born from leaning into discomfort
•  Simple ways to practice getting uncomfortable this week

If you’ve ever thought:
 “I’m too late.”
 “I’m not ready.”
 “I’m not confident enough.”
 “I don’t know if I can do this.”

This episode will lovingly call you out and call you forward.

Because you don’t become confident first.
You become confident by doing the uncomfortable thing.

If you’re a woman entrepreneur who wants to use speaking to grow your business and confidence, Lauren is building a community just for you inside the She’s Got the Mic Speakers Collective.

For weekly motivation, bold reminders, and behind-the-scenes invites to live speaking experiences, text SPEAK to 833-681-6463.

To be played at opening of all SGTM episodes, this is a promo for the Speakers Collective.

Transcript

Welcome And Theme: Discomfort

Lauren Chapnick 0:47

Welcome to She's Got the Mic, the show for women speakers and entrepreneurs using their voice to grow their business. I'm your host, Lauren Chapnick. Let's go. Hi, everybody, and welcome back to She's Got the Mic. I'm Lauren Chapnick. I'm your host, and I am so happy that you are here. What I want to talk about today is the benefit of living in a state of discomfort. Let me explain what I mean. We've all heard that greatness lies on the other side of fear. When I made the decision that I wanted to go back to nursing school, I was so uncomfortable. It was uncomfortable. It's still uncomfortable sometimes to stretch yourself so much to learn something new. But the more and more you do it and you train your brain and you redirect those neural pathways to get used to that feeling, you train your nervous system to get used to doing hard things, hard things become a little bit easier, and you start to step into that true greatness. More recently, when I made the decision to speak and to tell my story on stages, and now I'm starting this community of women speakers who want to do the same thing. The first time I told my story on a stage in front of a hundred or so women, I thought I was gonna puke. Like it was so uncomfortable. I didn't know anybody there. It's not like they were all there cheering me on, like they were my friends or my fan club. I had to win them over. And that was the first time giving that talk. And it was so uncomfortable. And in the best way, because all of you who speak can relate to the fact that you question why I am putting myself through this? I'm sweating, I am pacing around, I feel like I'm gonna forget what I'm gonna say. I'm really nervous, but I'm so excited to get up there and do this, to put myself out there, to share my story. And I did that very scary thing, and I'm so glad that I did because the minute I got off stage, I was thinking, when do I get to do this again? Right? I'm sure a lot of you are nodding along, like, yep, as soon as it's over, I want to do it again. It's nuts. But that's what we do. We put ourselves through these things to train our brains, to train our nervous system, that it's safe. It's actually okay. This is your intuition. That's the difference between intuition and fear. Your intuition says, yes, you want to do this. This is safe. This is a full body, yes. It feels light, it feels aligned. Fear feels very heavy. But the state of discomfort is that space in between. It's that space where you say, okay, I am afraid. This feels unsafe, but I'm going to do it anyway because I trust and I know that this is the right move for me. What's also very uncomfortable is putting yourself out there with people you don't know. When I went to that woman's conference and another woman's conference, pretty quickly after that one, I walked in knowing no one. And it's exciting because you walk in and you get to start fresh in a whole new room. Those people have no idea who you are, which in some ways is good. In some ways, it's, you know, you have to win over their trust, which is more nerve-wracking. But to form connections cold with people you don't know and just start talking to people, that can be very uncomfortable. It can feel very unsafe. But once you start doing it and you practice, you practice talking to people in situations like that, or when you're in line at the grocery store, having conversations with as many people as you can, putting yourself out there, that is practicing speaking. That is practicing getting out of your comfort zone. You are training yourself to step into greatness when you take the risks to do these things. And recently, since a few weeks ago, when I've been really grinding and building my community of she's got the Mike Speakers Collective. I'm giving my elevator pitch multiple times a day. And at first it was really nerve-wracking. I was listening to myself and thinking, am I saying the right things? Is this coming across the way that I want it to? Is this landing the way I want it to? And the more and more I do it, the more it's now becoming really fun. Because I've done it now. I've done it now dozens of times. And I'm getting more comfortable living in that space of being uncomfortable, having that knot in my stomach. It's getting a little bit smaller every time because I've made it less about making a pitch and more just about connecting with another human. You know, of course, I want them to sign up at the end of the call. That's the goal, right? But not all of them are going to, and that's fine. But you never know what could come of that months down the road, years down the road if they know somebody. So it does, it's not really about making the sale, it's about making the connection with that person, really finding out about who they are, what draws them to speaking. And I have heard so many stories over the last several weeks of how people discovered speaking, why they want to speak more. And it has me so fired up. And every time I hang up from a call, I know I am doing the right thing, building this community and getting on stages and sharing my story and trying to just get better at speaking. Even just doing this podcast gets me better at speaking. I'm speaking right now. And this is what I'm saying is that if you have the whisper that you want to do something, about a year ago, a little bit more than that now, something whispered to me, Lauren, tell your story, share your story. Because for so long, I lived in a state of telling myself it was too late, I couldn't do it, I was too old, I was too fat, I couldn't make a big change like that because too many people were counting on me to do all of the responsibilities that I had. And when I finally said no, and I took that first step and trusted my gut and stepped into the fear, that's when my life started to open up and change. And now I train my intuition, I listen to my intuition, and I step into that discomfort. And it's not fun. I avoid it like crazy. You have to force yourself to do it. Like Mel Robbins says, 54321 go. I actually have that sign, I had one made next to my bed. So in the morning, I just say five, four, three, two, one, go. And if you're a Mel Robbins fan, I don't have to explain anymore. If you want to know what that means, just go listen to the Mel Robbins podcast. She's a genius. But, anyways, back to the discomfort. I can't tell you the growth that I have experienced just in the last few weeks connecting with people over Zoom over and over, it has expanded me. And I cannot imagine how much I'm going to grow this year hosting my live events, speaking on the stages that I'm creating for myself and all of the people that I'm going to meet this year. I cannot wait. I know I am in alignment with what I'm supposed to be doing next. And I want to talk about neuroplasticity a little bit today. Neuroplasticity is very simply put, your brain's ability to change. When you have new experiences, when you develop those neural pathways by putting yourself consistently in that discomfort, in that situation where you feel unsafe, you feel a little bit uncomfortable. Repeated exposure to those things creates those new neural pathways. And repetition makes those neural pathways stronger. And over time, your brain changes. It literally adapts to the experiences that you choose for yourself. And then you can live in that place that used to scare the crap out of you. It now feels like fun. And that's exactly what's happened to me in just a few weeks and speaking to as many people as I have. And it's not like I was so nervous talking to people, it was more like I was so vulnerable because I was making a connection with a purpose behind it to tell you about this new collective that I'm creating in an attempt to get you to join, right? Or if I'm speaking to a workshop expert in an attempt to get you to come teach to my group. And, you know, I was putting myself out there totally vulnerable. And you have that imposter syndrome of, am I going to be good enough? Are what are they going to think of this? But I'm telling you, the more and more I did it, I now get so excited. Who do I get to meet today? Who am I going to talk to today? What am I going to learn from this person? And it's insane the types of people that I have met and how manifestation can work. Because I'm telling you, all today, I thought about a book that I read in college called The Artist's Way. Some of you may know exactly what I'm talking about. I hopped on a call, and this woman who I spoke to leads retreats, and her next retreat is based on that book. It's just insane what is happening. It's like I'm creating these people to come into my world, and it's so much fun. That sounded so woo-woo and so out there, but I'm telling you that that actually happened today. I am used to people sharing things with me. I was an ER nurse, and when people come into the ER, they are in a very vulnerable state. And within minutes, people are sharing very deep, intimate things with you, especially if they think their time is limited. And it was such a privilege. And talking to all of these women over the past few weeks, people have asked me so many questions that I wasn't expecting. People have shared things with me that I wasn't expecting them to share. People have been very open and very vulnerable with me. And it's taught me to be a better speaker. Having all of these conversations has taught me to adapt and a little bit of improv because you don't know what you're gonna get when that screen comes on. You don't know who's gonna be sitting there, who's gonna talk to you. And it's it's almost like a little game of improv, which helps for when you're on stage and something throws you off. Have you ever been in the middle of your talk and you get a laugh in a place you are not expecting to be funny and you lose your train of thought and you have to just bounce back? Well, if you're in a conversation with somebody over Zoom, and I guess this kind of goes back to my acting background, I just have to be open to receive whatever that person is giving me. And if you had asked me a couple months ago if I'd be spending my time talking to strangers over Zoom in an attempt to get them to join this speaker's collective community, I would have been like, what are you talking about? I just want to speak on stages and I want to go to work as a nurse, and that's what I'm doing. That sounds awful. That sounds like really uncomfortable. Why would I do that? But the world works in mysterious ways. And that was the next step for me in order to get better at speaking, in order to speak on more stages. I created it for myself, and now I'm really reminding myself how discomfort is so necessary in order to expand, in order to grow, and have all of these incredible experiences. Life is not meant to be taken sitting back on a couch, putting your feet up, and letting your life pass you by. You need to take advantage of every opportunity that scares the crap out of you and just open yourself up, be vulnerable, and get comfortable being uncomfortable. Those new experiences, they release dopamine. Dopamine is the molecule of more, it is the motivation molecule. So you can understand how when you get off stage and you've had this new experience, or you get off a Zoom call with somebody new that you were nervous for, or you had a little bit of anxiety about, or self-doubt, you do that new experience and it ends, and you step away, you get that hit of dopamine because you did that new experience, and now you want more of it. And you repeat it and you repeat it, you get stronger, you get better, and that is how you grow. In just a few weeks of having these new experiences, I'm braver, I'm bolder, I have a more open mind, I'm more adaptable. And to answer my own question, I'm having more fun. One of my signature four questions, how can this be more fun? I am having so much fun building this community. And the power of connecting with another human being is just out of this world, mind-blowingly awesome. So let me ask you, where are you avoiding discomfort? What can you do this week to challenge yourself, to be uncomfortable, to feel like you're in danger, and to step into it anyway, to grow and to step into that version of yourself that you are meant to be, but that you're holding yourself back from because you're afraid to do the thing. I dare you to do the thing. I dare you to turn to the person in back of you in line at Trader Joe's and ask them what they're buying. What are they doing? How's their day going? Talk to the person who's checking you out. My husband talks to everybody and it mortifies my daughter, but it is the healthiest thing to do. Connection with another human being is medicine. It is what we all need. And we all need to live in that state of I'm about to throw up and shit my pants, but I'm gonna do this because I know it is going to make me grow, is going to make me stronger, and I am expanding my brain, my boldness, and my life by doing this thing. What is that for you? I dare you to go out there and get it. And I can't wait to hear what it is, and I can't wait to talk to you about it. Thank you so much for listening. And until next time, trust your gut, get off your butt, make today awesome, and I'll see you the next time. Thanks for listening to She's Got the Mic. If you enjoyed today's episode, hit follow, rate, and review, and send it to another woman who's ready to take the mic. And for a weekly hit of hell yes energy, plus behind-the-scenes invites for live speaking experiences, add the word speak to eight three three six eight one six four six three. That's sweep to eight three three six eight one six four six four. Now go make some noise.